Many people think relocating abroad promises better opportunities, financial stability, and a fresh start. But for Ada, who left Nigeria for the UK in 2021, the dream lasted barely two years before she made a decision that many people still struggle to understand: she returned home. In this conversation with FunTimes, she shares why leaving was not the fairy tale she expected and why coming back remains one of the best decisions she ever made.
Tell us about yourself. What was your life like before relocating?
Back then, I had what many people would describe as a comfortable life in Nigeria. I had a good career, a stable income, and I genuinely enjoyed my work. Of course, like many Nigerians, I complained about the usual things: poor infrastructure, uncertainty, and the economy, but I wasn’t unhappy. I was not one of those who had been dreaming of leaving since secondary school or university. That was not me.
So what changed?
COVID happened. And then the lockdown. It affected my husband’s business. There was also some uncertainty in my workplace as they were letting staff go, and I wasn’t sure which day I would be told my services were no longer needed. At that time, it seemed like everyone knew someone who had relocated or was planning to. My husband, on the other hand, started talking about us considering it. Some of his friends had already moved to the UK, and they painted an exciting picture of life there. I was not desperate to leave Nigeria, but I wanted a new experience. I also thought it would be nice to live in another country and maybe, one day, become a British citizen. So, we decided that I would return to school while my husband would be my dependent. That was how we packed our bags and moved to London.
What was your first impression after arriving? Any culture shocks?
It was exciting… for a few weeks. Then reality arrived. We rented a room in a shared apartment. There were people from different countries living there, and everyone shared one kitchen and bathroom. Back in Lagos, I lived in a two‑bedroom en suite, so sharing a kitchen and bathroom abroad felt like a completely different world. The last time I shared a bathroom space with people was in boarding school. It was not easy adjusting to this kind of lifestyle, especially having to wait your turn to use the kitchen or bathroom. Sometimes, our flatmates would complain about the smell of my food. Other times, we would have arguments about people leaving the toilet messy or not cleaning up after using the kitchen. We also had this flatmate who was a chain smoker. The whole apartment would be smelling of smoke. The first few months were not really a pleasant experience. We eventually moved to a different apartment, but it still wasn’t as comfortable as home. It felt like living in a box as everything was so tiny.
Another thing that got to me was how lonely life could be. Back home, life felt more connected. There were family members, neighbors, colleagues, and spontaneous visits. Here, everyone seemed to be rushing somewhere. There was no friend to call and say, “Are you home? I’m coming.” Everyone seemed to be busy.
And your husband? How was he managing?
It wasn’t easy for him either. Before we moved, his friends had suggested there would be opportunities in real estate. But when we arrived, they were nowhere to be found with “their opportunities.” He started searching for jobs, but did not want to settle for less. He also did not want to do care. If you have lived abroad as a newcomer, you would know how difficult it is to get a regular job. Most of the time, you have to start with the menial ones, which are readily available. After searching for months, he finally had to settle for a care job because we had bills to pay, and our savings were running out. But he hated that job, and it was beginning to affect him.
What was it like for you personally?
Remember, I wasn’t so thrilled about relocating, so whenever something didn’t work out, I questioned myself and my decision to relocate. I had left a home where I was comfortable, a career where I was growing, to share an apartment with strangers. I was juggling school and 20 hours of work. I was also working in care. It was not so stressful, but this was not what I wanted for my life. Watching people around me work nonstop with no excitement or passion, just chasing a paycheck, really made me question whether this was the life I wanted. So, towards the end of my programme, we started making plans to return to Nigeria. We realized we both weren’t happy, and that this abroad life was not for us.
Did you have a backup plan back home?
Not really. But I started calling friends and family back home about needing a job, and you know how things work in Nigeria if you know the right people. Before returning, I had already secured a job, and my husband was already reconnecting with his contacts and planning to return to his business. So, one cool day in September 2022, we packed up, boarded a flight, and returned to Nigeria.
How did it feel, going back?
I was relieved. It felt good to be back home. No worries about shared apartments, doing a job I hated, or dealing with the cold winter. I loved that I could dress up in heels to work, not in the UK, where it was mostly sneakers every day.
Do you regret relocating?
Not at all. I see it as a learning experience. If I had not gone, I probably would have been feeling like I was missing out on something by staying back in Nigeria. Sometimes, you need to leave somewhere to truly appreciate what you have.
What do you think people misunderstand about Japa?
That it automatically solves your problems. Relocating gives many people incredible opportunities, and I know families who have built wonderful lives abroad. But migration is not magic. You will still face challenges. You will still have to work hard. You will still experience disappointment. The address changes, but life doesn’t suddenly become perfect.
What advice would you give Nigerians thinking about relocating today?
First, don’t burn your bridges. Leave respectfully. You never know where life will take you or who you might need again.
Second, don’t measure your success against social media. People rarely post their struggles. You see the cars, houses, and summer travels. But no one tells you how they go from one shift to the next, or barely have any support system, or the loneliness.
Finally, understand that everyone’s journey is different. Some people are meant to thrive abroad. Others will find greater fulfilment at home. There is no universal formula for success. The important thing is to be honest with yourself. If life abroad is working for you, that’s wonderful. If it is not, there should be no shame in starting again somewhere else. If it does not work, consider going back home. There is no shame in that. Count your losses and reset. Too many people stay there out of pride when they would be better off coming back and starting again from familiar ground. Sometimes the bravest decision isn’t leaving; it’s knowing when to come home.
