In the last issue of this magazine, we celebrated women that did extraordinary things in their communities. Even though few women were featured, I can say without a doubt, that there were myriad of well-deserving women that would have equally graced the pages of FunTimes Magazine. Be that as it may, our focus has now turned to the celebration of fathers in this issue – men who are not only biological parents of young men and women in our communities but men who have distinguished themselves in the nurturing and development of a child.
From my perspective, a real father has characteristics that transcend genetic commonalities with his child. He has to see his role as a natural responsibility that can impact the future of a boy or girl he helped bring into this world. Besides demonstrating physically his paternal love for the child, becoming part of the molding and nurturing process is his primary responsibility.
Fatherhood embodies something quintessential considering its importance in the transformation of a child’s life. If I should paraphrase, the Bible advises us to raise the child properly so that he would not deviate when he grows up. In other words, the father’s primary role is to guide the child as he grows up. He has to be instrumental in lifting the blindfold from the child’s eyes so that the child recognizes good from bad, right from wrong, friends and foes. And most importantly, he should school the child in how to navigate through this treacherous would.
Yes, the quintessential father — who is he anyway? I can tell you that he is the man that does not flaunt his affection neither is he afraid to tell the child “I love you.” He never fails to accept the fact that his first responsibility as a father is the welfare of his child “the upbringing” providing shelter, food, clothing while ensuring that his educational needs are meet.
Perhaps men need to accept the fact that by merely parenting a child does not make one a father. Honestly, it saddens me to know that thousands of young men in our society are having kids when they lack the mental maturity and life’s experience. You see, mental maturity and life’s experience are without doubt very vital tools that all fathers need in order to make decisions and choices that directly or indirectly impact the child. Simply put, you cannot teach what you do not know.
Growing up, there were few things that I learned from my father, Phillip. He went to work every day even when his life was gradually slipping away because of his battle with prostate cancer. Because we lived in a small town, whenever we were both home, we did things together — gardening, farming and home improvement. I remember going with him one day to the city of Monrovia and eating lunch at a restaurant for the first time. It was my first time learning table etiquette — how to properly use a knife and fork and the need to spread the napkin in your lap before eating.
My experience with my father was during my formative years. Yet most of it like the part about work ethic is ingrained in me today. But what is very important is that thanks to him I was able to love, mold and nurture my four sons while living in the West Philadelphia community. As a father, I made sure I guided them against the pitfalls and challenges of society. Thanks to God they all went to college and are now productive citizens.
