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In high school, I used to be fascinated with Valentine’s Day. I loved seeing the red and white cards and other gift items in shops. I would find every opportunity to be out in the evening just to see couples dressed in red and white. It looked like so much fun, and I could not wait to be an adult to be part of the fun. Life, however, had other plans. It must have been having a good laugh at my teenage thoughts, as I never got to be part of this fun. As I grew older, I always somehow managed to be single on Valentine’s Day. With every single year of being “booless” on February 14, I became indifferent. I do not hate Valentine’s Day; it is just one of those days that has been so commercialized that people have forgotten the real reason behind it, love.
As the calendar inches closer to February 14, some hearts around the world are beginning to beat a little faster, and singles are already having FOMO (fear of missing out). Just a month ago, in December, they had to deal with couples in matching Christmas-themed pajamas flooding social media with lovey-dovey photos. While they are still healing, here comes the love month. We all know what February can be like: being bombarded with red roses, cards that read “I love you,” money bouquets, and the like. Everywhere you turn, you are being reminded of how single you are; it’s like adding more salt to the injury.
If you are single and searching for love, Valentine’s Day can be annoying. It is one of those days when the singles are caught in a web of conflicting emotions. There are societal expectations around Valentine’s Day that can end up putting pressure on you to be with someone, and if you do not manage your feelings well, you may end up sad, lonely, and depressed. Sometimes, we may act like it’s nothing, but deep down, there is the unsettling ache and desire to have someone to share the day with.
As relationship expert Adrienne Michelle explains, Valentine’s Day can put “a lot of pressure on people who are single, especially those moving through a break-up.” According to her, this is largely because people center romantic love as the only kind that counts, even though that’s not actually what Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about.
“Love exists in so many forms, friendship, family, self-love, and those deserve celebrating, too… Celebrate what you have instead of wishing it looked different. You will have more, but maybe not this year. And that’s okay,” she says.
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How To Approach Valentine’s Day As A Single
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
Approaching Valentine’s Day as a single individual can be a delightful opportunity for self-love and reflection. You are without a partner this year does not mean you will be without one in the coming year.
The cast of “Living Single”, an American television sitcom, taught us a thing or two about navigating relationships and even Valentine’s Day as singles.
And what can you do if you are celebrating Valentine’s Day as a single person this year? Relationship expert Ladawn Black preaches self-love.
“It’s not a negative if you are alone on Valentine’s Day. It’s a day to love on yourself and other people who love you. Cause I think a lot of times people focus on romantic love but if you have kids, if you have family, if you have fantastic friends and co-workers, it’s a time to connect with all the love in your life and even self love to a certain extent because you get out and do the things you want to do and you’re prepping yourself for when that romantic love comes,” she says.
Embrace the joy of self-love: Do you know you can be in a relationship and still feel single? Years back, I was in a relationship for the first time during the Valentine’s Day celebration. I was already dreaming about how the day would go and how I would be pampered and showered with gifts. I walked into a shop and got gifts for him the day before. Unfortunately, it was another lonely Valentine’s Day as he was unavailable. No gifts, no pampering, no nothing. This experience taught me not to depend on anyone for my happiness. Do I want a man? Yes. But I do not need one to make me happy. I love myself too much to allow my happiness to rest in my relationship status. As a single, you have to learn to love and celebrate yourself. If no one pampers you, pamper yourself. Sitting and waiting for someone to do for you that which you can do for yourself will only rob you of your peace and happiness in the present.
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It is just a day: Just like every other day, the whole noise will be over in 24 hours. Do not let the advertising overload and the Instagram feeds of friends and celebrities get to you. Some are not even real. Remember, social media is not real life.
Do not be pressured: If you are feeling pressured to have someone to share February 14 with, you are not alone. Even couples are facing pressure to buy expensive gifts to impress their partners and people on social media who do not even care. Do not allow yourself to be pressured over anything. Being single is not a disease.
It does not have to be a partnered celebration: Enjoy yourself without feeling weighed down by the idea that you need a partner to do so. Remember that you are not less of a person because you are not going out on a romantic date for two, or getting flowers, cards, and chocolates. You can celebrate solo.
It’s all about love: Valentine’s Day is about love and does not have to be romantic. Do not shortchange yourself because you are single. You have lots of other love in your life to celebrate: the love of family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, and many others.
Enjoy the moment: Do not drown yourself in sadness, wishing for what is not. You are single, and that is your reality for now. Make the most of it, as you will not be single forever. Do not waste time and energy wishing things were different. Being in a relationship may not even make you happy at the end of the day.
Take a break from social media: If you cannot handle the pretentious gifts and over-the-top celebrations online, it’s best to go offline to focus on your happiness. Tune out the noise, do not let the social media posts destroy your inner peace.
Remove hatred from your heart: When you are emotional, it is easy to hate those who have what you do not. You see couples being happy, and you are angry, or someone gets a gift, and you are jealous. Years back, on one of those Valentine’s Day celebrations, my colleagues and I were in the office when a package was delivered. It was a mouthwatering breakfast tray and other gifts for my friend. Not long after, one colleague who had been “gisting” with us just became moody and shut us out, just because someone got a Valentine’s Day gift and she did not. Her day was ruined for no reason. Do not be that person who cannot be happy for others.
Fun Things To Do If You Are Single On Valentine’s Day
For those who are unattached and not exactly happy about Valentine’s Day, you can rewrite the script and do something different this year. Take a cue from the characters on “Living Single” and embrace the joy of your own company. Here are some things you can do to make yourself feel better.
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Netflix on the couch: Fill a bowl with popcorn while enjoying some alone time watching your favorite movies. No one is dragging the remote with you and distracting you. You have the TV all to yourself. You could also use the day to sleep in and enjoy time at home.
Buy yourself a gift: Why wait for someone to do it for you? Rather than just watch everyone get flowers and gush over their gifts, treat yourself to that beautiful bag or shoes you have always wanted; order a bouquet of sweet-smelling roses or something special. Just get yourself something that would light up your mood.
Hangout with friends: There is nothing more fun than being in the company of your friends. They remind us that while love is sweet, friendship is sometimes better. It could be a dinner, spa date, or movie night.
Source:
Single on Valentine’s Day? Here are ways to celebrate solo. Cosmopolitan UK.
Valentine’s Day survival guide: Ladawn Black’s top tips for singles and couples. FOX45 News
