llie Miles is an actress, playwright and women’s empowerment coach who used her experience battling with self-worth to provide a space for women to uncover their own. She received an assignment from God at the age of 14 to create an organization for women to revitalize, and in 2012, she created the Virtuous Women Queen’s Lair, a Christian focused organization that provides women with valuable resources for personal and professional growth. Kellie reveals her mothering experience, and how she has combined her spirituality with creativity to build this matriarchal organization.
What motherhood means to Kellie: Motherhood is a God given gift entrusted to a woman encompassing opportunity and responsibility. With this responsibility, we are tasked with the challenge of guiding a child through a world unknown to them. As hard as it is, motherhood even involves allowing children to make some mistakes to learn lessons, unteachable except through life’s experiences. The ultimate goal of motherhood is to lead children to a relationship with Christ and to groom them to become successful, effective, and impactful members of society. Motherhood also means having balance between discipline, nurturing, and most of all love.
On balancing motherhood with her career: This is definitely a challenge that I am still working to perfect. What I have found works best for me is scheduling time and communicating that time to them. This helps them to understand and respect the span of time mommy has to work and when I am free. I also find creating moments and being present in those moments is paramount. Regardless of the amount of time, I give them my undivided attention so they know they are important to me. I stick to scheduled time together and listen to them so I can stay connected to what they feel or might be going through. I also try to include them on projects that I am working on, when I can, so they feel included and understand what I am doing, which also exposes them to other opportunities. This teaches my children to value me as a person and not just as mom.
The most rewarding part of motherhood: Honestly, my reward is twofold. I feel rewarded by the love I share with my children. It is also rewarding when I look back on all the challenges we’ve encountered, the arguments that have ensued, the ongoing debates about reasoning, the tug of war between wills, and the pains of having to enforce discipline; I see the sprouts of growth being watered by maturity. This makes my heart so happy because I can see the fruits of my labor finally paying off.
On whether Kellie thinks the roles of womanhood are changing: I think society’s perception of the roles of womanhood is what has changed. God laid out an established standard for the role of a woman but popular culture along with social norms has had great impact on the regard of God’s word for the role of womanhood.
How Kellie relates her role as a mother to strengthening the Diaspora community: It is unfortunate but many of the women in the African Diaspora have lost sight of or may have never known their value. God has given me a passion to help women, young and even seasoned, align their perspective of personal value with God’s perspective. It is my goal to challenge women to stretch beyond their self-limiting boxes and grow beyond their expectations. I work to help women reconnect or tap into the power of the Holy Spirit within them activating creativity and a growth mindset.
Find her online at www.vwqueenslair.org, via email on info@vwqueenslair.org, on Facebook at Virtuous Woman Queens’ Lair LLC, via YouTube at Virtuous Woman Queens’ Lair or Instagram @vwqueenslair.
We want to wish a Happy Mother’s Day to all of the matriarchs in the diaspora, from the heart of SouthWest Philadelphia, to the rural women of Cameroon and the streets of Brazil. Thank you to our honorees for sharing their story with us.
Do you want to celebrate the mothers in your life? Post your favorite picture with them on social media using the hashtag #FunTimesWithMom to be featured on our Instagram page!
